Ivy Sea Online: High-impact (and ethical) influence skills

Influence — the word is packed with different meanings, and sets off emotional responses across the spectrum. Webster's II New Riverside Dictionary offers up this definition:

in•flu•ence (n.) 1. The power to produce effects, esp. indirectly or through an intermediary.
2. The condition of being affected. 3. One exercising indirect power to sway or affect.

Of course, we know that the dictionary is only a starting place for the meaning of a word. Our experience and perceptions give more color to the fuller meaning we give language. Here are a few ways to think about influence:

A Matter of Multiple Perspectives

Perspective One: The thought of being influential is reviled, associated with manipulation, money, hierarchical power, cultural position, misused authority, abused trust or worse. For example, an unethical loan shark can be considered influential, but here, the word might be a euphemism for bullying people and cracking skulls. History gives us no shortage of other examples of influence at its worst.

Perspective Two: Here, we see another definition of influence: traits that make some people effective in their dealings with others due to how they interact with people and compel them to take action. Here, influence means well-developed interpersonal communication skill and a genuine (and demonstrated) desire to be of service. This is the sort of influence that peak performers and those who wish to align spiritual concepts with action endeavor to refine and master.

Participation Point:
If pre-Civil War slave owners, Ronald Reagan, our parents, the Queen Mother, Malcolm X, rock stars, Jesus Christ, The Dalai Lama, Anne Boleyn, Gandhi, Mother Theresa, Martin Luther, Martin Luther King, Jr., television, the printing press, the personal computer, Saddam Hussein and Adolph Hitler—among many other persons and inventions—all demonstrated the power to "sway or affect" some public, whom do you consider influential, and why?

Take That HEPA Filter Off Your Perception

If you want to begin cultivating a more influential manner, you’ve got to shed your negative perceptions about influence, open your thinking to accept new ideas, and learn techniques to allow you to be positively influential.

If you think influence is a negative thing, take a moment to walk through this exercise:

(1) Think of one person whom you respect or find charismatic. It can be anyone — a friend, a mentor, or a sports or comic book hero.

(2) Has knowing this person (or simply knowing his or her actions) persuaded you to act in some way or change your behavior or mind-set?

Well, that’s positive influence. Do you see any negative association with the affect this person had on you? By moving beyond our filters or negative definitions of influence, we can see how such behavior can benefit ourselves and others, and learn how to become more influential — in a positive way.

Participation Point:
How do you react when we suggest you have filters that prevent you from allowing certain perspectives or possibilities? From what cultural influences did you get your filters, and what are they?

What Traits Are Considered Influential?

Researchers have discovered certain qualities that all influential people embody. Key traits seem to fall into three primary categories:

1. Self-motivation,

2. Interpersonal communication skill, and

3. Leadership ability.

Self-motivation

First and foremost, influential people are driven to be influential from within. They seem positive and confident, demonstrate excellence, are action-oriented and have a sense of humor. These elements manifest themselves outwardly as:

• Being approachable.
• Knowing one’s strengths and weaknesses.
• Being resourceful.
• Being an information junky—staying informed on areas outside of one’s primary expertise.
• Walking the talk.
• Being honest and placing great importance on integrity.
• Turning knowledge into action.
• Doing what it takes to get the job done.
• Effectively integrating a natural style of humor into interactions with people.
• Using humor delicately and tactfully to deflect and redirect uncomfortable situations.

Historical Example: Susan B. Anthony
In a time when women were ruled by a government and a law in which she had no voice, Susan B. Anthony helped lead the women’s suffragette movement, resulting in women gaining the right to vote.

Participation Point:
What other influential persons come to your mind as examples of being driven from within?

Interpersonal communication

Influential people are good communicators on a person-to-person level. They are:

• Able to articulate their ideas clearly and persuasively.
• Savvy in appearance and delivery.
• Good listeners; other’s know they’ve been heard.
• Good observers; pick up on and correctly assess visual cues.
• Know and can articulate the ‘why’ behind an idea.
• Have a flexible communication approach, varying their style to match listeners’ style.
• Have a well-developed sense of good judgement and timing.
• Congruent; their word choice, voice tone and body language match their message.

Historical Example: Martin Luther King, Jr.
No need to remind you that Martin Luther King, Jr. interacted with all types of people to affect civil rights — all with the intention of nonviolent discourse and understanding of other people.

Participation Point:
What other influential persons come to your mind as having excellent interpersonal skill?

Inspired-leadership skillfulness

Positively influential people are other-focused leaders, meaning they are not completely self-absorbed. They're people others want to model and/or follow. For example, they:

• Support others’ quest for excellence.
• Treat others with respect.
• Make others feel important and validated.
• Look for the positive in others.
• Are able to create rapport with a variety of people.
• Look for opportunities to serve others, even in small ways.

Historical Example: Theodore Roosevelt
Roosevelt’s valet, James Amos, relayed a story that personifies Roosevelt’s day-to-day leadership qualities:

"My wife one time asked the President about a bobwhite. She had never seen one and he described it to her fully. Sometime later, the telephone at our cottage rang. (The Amos’ lived in a cottage on the Roosevelt estate.) My wife answered it and it was Mr. Roosevelt himself. He had called, he said, to tell her that there was a bobwhite outside her window and that if she would look out she might see it."

Participation Point:
What other influential persons come to your mind as being powerful leaders?

It's a Wrap

Becoming influential is more than reading a couple of articles and intellectualizing the concept. It takes hard work and plenty of real-life trials to build influential traits. Your work is never done, but moments of skillfulness are a reward in and of themselves.

To learn more about influence and how to become more influential in a positive way, examine traits of people you find influential, review history to get to know influential people and why they were influential, and visit your local bookseller for related books. And most of all, put theory into action and practice, practice, practice.

Participation Point:
What else would you like to learn about being positively influential?