Interpersonal mastery essentials
PREVENTING MISCOMMUNICATION
In Ivy Sea Online's Problem-Solver Series, we share a hypothetical miscommunication scenario, take a look at the assumptions behind the miscommunication, and offer a tool or tactic that helps avoid such miscommunication. Is there a common communication problem you encounter frequently? If so, let us know, and we'll profile it with a problem-solver here.
Issue: Assumptions and Expectations
The Scenario:
Sue, the leader at Pretend, Inc., and Dave, the firms Client Accounts Director, have brainstorm and coaching sessions regarding a project for which Dave is responsible. Dave is the firms face and voice for the client account, though others in the firm contribute expertise to meet the clients needs.
In the discussion, Sue shares strategic insights and solutions that will help avoid a problem with the project and add value to the service the firm provides to the client. Daves body language and word choice indicate that he heard the information provided by Sue.
The discussion ends, and Sue assumes Dave will provide the counsel to the client. She hears nothing more about it until an issue arises with the project, and another vendor offers the same counsel which the client says is brilliant and Sue wonders whether Dave passed along the ideas and counsel she provided a week earlier.
Whats really happening here:
While the intentions are good, the two individuals arent on the same page regarding expectations and the reasons behind anothers need for information. Also, theres a loop that hasnt been closed. Thankfully, its an easily rectified problem. Lets take a look at Dave and Sues assumptions, then look at a potential solution.
From Sues perspective:
Sue assumes that ideas and information she shares in such discussions will be passed along to the client. "After all, why would I have the brainstorm session or discussion in the first place?" she thinks. When another vendor makes the same suggestion at a later meeting with the client, and the problem discussed does indeed occur, Sue realizes she never received confirmation from Dave as to whether he already shared the information with the client.
As a result, Sue feels concerned and frustrated that an opportunity has been missed to provide outstanding services, resolve issues for the client, increase client confidence and distinguish both Dave and the firm. After all, she thinks, in a Knowledge Industry, ideas and counsel are distinguishing factors. For Sue, this touches on a core insecurity as she steps back and, in keeping with the firm's strategic plan, delegates responsibility for client interactions she would once have managed herself.
Sue also feels like she repeats her key points and priorities at the inhouse brainstorm discussions with Dave, and wonders whether shes heard at all or whether he thinks shes just talking to hear her own voice.
From Daves perspective:
Dave, who Sue values and trusts enough to delegate full responsibility for important client interaction, may not be clear on her expectation that the brainstorm sessions that take place between them will be synthesized and passed along to the client. Because Dave saw the meeting as fairly routine and thought several of the ideas offered by Sue were to help him get his own thoughts flowing, he didnt understand that Sue expected him to share the ideas with the client and update her to close the loop.
From his perspective, Dave wants to make things as easy as possible for Sue, and benefit the firm, by taking responsibility for as many day-to-day details as possible. He doesnt wish to take Sues time with what he perceives to be unnecessary details. He assumes that if Sue had particular requests or concerns, shed surely say as much.
Dave feels badly that he may have just dropped the ball by failing to close the loop, thereby missing an opportunity to further distinguish him as being completely on top of the project and his management of client interactions in a way that leaves Sue, as the firms leader, fully confident and at ease. He also feels a bit angry with Sue for being upset at a seemingly small issue and not making herself more clear regarding her expectations.
Communication problem-solvers:
To avoid similar problems in the future, particularly in firms where idea-generating and problem-solving brainstorm sessions and discussions often happen informally:
Take responsibility individually
Both Sue and Dave should remind themselves to assume nothing, and to each accept full responsibility for clear communication. When interactions are low-key and casual, it's easy to forget this important ground rule.
Clarify big-picture roles and expectations
Dave should remind himself, and Sue should reiterate to him as well, that he is the face and voice of the firm, and others are counting on him to represent the full value of the firm everyones contributions and skills to the client. Neither Dave or Sue should make assumptions about what "representing the full value of the firm" means in practice. Sue and Dave should discuss what that looks and sounds like, and why it works best for the firm, the client and the individuals involved, then check in monthly about how its working across multiple projects.
Recap the discussion to ensure clear understanding
Dave can take notes during each discussion and wrap up by saying, "Sue, weve discussed these three issues and youve offered these four ideas and concerns. Im thinking that I can summarize these and discuss these with the client when I speak with her on Thursday. If Im unclear at all when Im putting them together, Ill pass a draft by you before calling the client. Then Ill touch bases with you Friday morning to confirm and to share the clients response to our ideas. How does that sound to you?"
Sue can ensure common understanding by saying, "Dave, weve talked about a couple of key things today, three of which I want to make sure get passed along to the client. Its important to me to know were offering our best resources to our client, so Id like to hear back from you what of our discussion today you plan to share with the her, and Id love a confirmation once youve spoken with her so I can take it off my mental list. What can I expect on this?"
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