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Interpersonal Mastery Essentials
CONFLICT RESOLUTION BASICS
Though you may not see or hear all of these signs in your organization, you may notice some of these symptoms.
- People begin to avoid one another or become less cooperative.
- Rumors and gossip become more frequent or exclusive.
- Phone calls, memos and e-mail don't get returned.
- The content of memos, telephone calls and meetings changes.
- Humor disappears between groups or individuals.
- Tension or outright hostility increases.
- Sick leave, absenteeism increase.
- Apathy increases, productivity slows.
- Individual or group begins undermining or sabotaging decision-maker or that which is associated with decision-maker.
- Claims or lawsuits get filed against individuals or organizations.
- Outside channels, such as the media, are used to air grievances.
- Boycotts, strikes, demonstrations are planned, and escalate to gain negative media coverage.
Conflict communication tools quick-list
By borrowing principles from conflict resolution, a communicator can enhance both organizational and interpersonal communication efforts:
- Be aware of your own cultural perspectives, values and beliefs.
- Identify and involve major stakeholders - people representing each group affected by the initiative or issue you're communicating about.
- Hold one-on-one or very small group discussions early to "vent" hostilities.
- Make sure that everyone knows why meetings have been called.
- Use a neutral facilitator if possible, and make sure facilitator's role is understood.
- Set ground rules that create an "attack-free" safe haven for dialogue.
- Listen carefully, and don't be defensive.
- Focus on the problem or issue, not the person or persons involved.
- Use non-judgmental, non-inflammatory language like "I perceive..." or "it seems to me..."
- Reiterate that personal attacks and blame aren't constructive.
- Use flip charts or boards to create a visible record of conversation.
- Identify and reiterate common ground and common goals; focus on areas of agreement.
- Promote dialogue, not monologue; don't let one person dominate the discussion.
- Try to reach a consensus, even if the group simply reviews points of agreement.
- Recap each discussion with a summary of the meeting and future action.
- Because messages need to be repeated and people process information in different ways, supplement face-to-face communication with a variety of supportive communication tools, such as fact sheets, newsletters, videos or e-mail.
The best way to encourage constructive dialogue instead of destructive conflict is to work with your change leaders and communication team to plan and implement a sound communication program.
Recommended Reading & Resources:
A Systems Approach to Small Group Interaction; Stewart L. Tubbs; ©1992; McGraw-Hill
Discovering Common Ground; Marvin R. Weisbord; ©1992; Berrett-Koehler Publishing
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In; Roger Fisher and William Ury; ©1980; Penguin Books
Getting Together: Building Relationships as we Negotiate; Roger Fisher and Scott Brown; ©1988 Penguin Books
How to Make Meetings Work; Michael Doyle and David Straus; ©1976; Jove Books
Successful Team Building; Thomas L. Quick; ©1992; American Management Association (A WorkSmart Book)
International Society of Professionals in Dispute Resolution, Washington, D.C.
National Association for Mediation in Education, Amherst, Massachusetts
National Institute for Dispute Resolution, Washington, D.C.
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