As is often the case, deeper wisdom often hides amidst the routine activities of the day. I was reminded recently of a valuable lesson, both from an interpersonal perspective and a spiritual one. This lesson stemmed from an interaction with someone – a stranger – that started with what seemed to me to be an unprovoked and unfair attack. The communication I received was, from my perspective, full of innuendo, misrepresentation, and inaccurate judgments. And then I made my first mistake of the day by bypassing one of my own rules and rituals.

Tired from a week of travel and care-giving, though I had welcomed and enjoyed the chance to do both, I started my day without my usual hour of reflection. On most mornings, I aim to start with an hour, preferably, or fifteen minutes at a minimum, of spiritual reading, reflection, prayer … whatever seems to suit the moment. This helps me to feel grounded, calm and focused as I move through the day. And this ritual most definitely helps me to think, speak and act more mindfully.

For whatever reason, perhaps feeling a bit behind, I leapt right into my office and started combing through email and voicemail messages that awaited me. The provocative communication from the stranger was in my inbox.

Reading through it, picking up what seemed to be its arrogant language and accusatory tone, I felt the heat rising. My inner voice told me to turn the computer monitor off, return to my "reflection space" with my cup of coffee, and review and reply to the message later that morning. Making my second mistake of the day (and it was still very early!), I ignored that wise message from within, and, driven more by the heat of reaction than good sense, I quickly pecked out a response and hit "send."

What could have been a simple message and a single, gracious reply turned into a flurry of messages volleyed back and forth. But then grace intervened, somehow, in some way, transforming the conversation from an unproductive and irritating one into an interesting, dynamic, refreshing and highly productive dialogue.

As I observed what had occurred over the course of the dialogue, as irritated strangers developed a more aware, more accurate, and certainly more civil acquaintance, I felt both gratitude and awe at what’s possible when we’re either more mindful in our communications from the start, or when we persevere through the irritation and "re-action" to find the fruitful, gracious dialogue that is always there waiting for us to find it.

I had gotten hit in the head with a piece of coal, only to be reminded that each piece of coal is a potential diamond in the rough. Now, if I can only take that lesson into each day of the new year!

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