Ivy Sea Online: Beware of making assumptions!

Conscious-Communication Skill-Builder
BEWARE OF MAKING ASSUMPTIONS!

Making assumptions is a natural activity. Most of us make assumptions all of the time, based on the data culled from our experiences to date. The problem is that not all of our assumptions are correct, or at least are not always complete, and this gap leaves room for judgmentalism, misunderstanding, wasted time, frustration, and outright conflict.

We often assume that others understand what we mean by what we say, for example, whether at work, home, church, school, or elsewhere. For example, you might tell someone that you want to create a very festive atmosphere, and then find that your definitions of "festive" differ quite a bit. The same might be true if someone tells you that they need a bit more space, want a rich dessert, expect a productive meeting, or want to arrive at an event early. What do they mean, exactly, by each of these things? Perhaps not the same thing as we would mean if we said them.

Interestingly, we can also make assumptions about ourselves! We might assume that our vision and goals for last year are still relevant, when in fact they need to be updated so that we can enter the year ahead with fresh energy and motivation. We might assume certain limitations, when the only thing that is limiting is our assumption. We might assume that our routine is efficient because it is comfortable, when in fact it is stagnant. We might assume a lack of support, when many supporters are just waiting to be asked. We might assume that we have done all that is possible to bring about desired results, when indeed there are other options.

As it turns out, it is very easy to clarify, by asking questions, while we are in conversation with someone else, or if we are engaging ourselves in conversation. And it makes for a much better dialogue that can help us strengthen and deepen our relationships, and thus make our activities not just more effective, but also more enjoyable.

Albert Einstein said that we cannot solve new problems by using the same approaches that got us where we are. He might have also said that we cannot notice fresh opportunities and solutions if we assume that we already know everything. So inquire more, and assume less.

You’ll find more on these and related interpersonal and mindset-management skills in the "Workplace Communication Essentials" and "Skillful Listening Essentials" PDF Tip Kits in the Ivy Sea Online Resource Store, and in our Brain Food Cafe and Wisdom and Mastery Portal. (Go to any of these resource portals by using the navigation bar at the top of this page.)