Many people, and many time-honored spiritual traditions and wisdom philosophies, have their own unique prescriptions for creating and sustaining right relationships. One factor that can distinguish big-vision conscious enterprises (and individuals!) is a conscious commitment to setting and reaching a higher standard in relationship.

What are the practices that help these visionary small enterprises to far exceed the norms? There are a few Golden Rules that, if honored, can help to provide a foundation for refining the quality of our interpersonal skillfulness and our relationships with others.

Golden Rule No. 1: Know Thyself

Paying others extraordinary respect and acting from a place of thoughtfulness requires that we’re not caught up in perpetual stress, frustration, anger, self-absorption or ignorance. "Know Thyself" isn’t an abstraction, but rather a bit of truly wise advice. Of course, if it were that easy, everyone would be doing it and we’d have a great deal fewer ego collisions in the world. Many people aren’t aware of their own personality masks, or "shadow side," so other people live at the mercy of their moods.

The good news? Life is, or can be, a journey toward increased skillfulness, and the payoff can be gradual rather than delayed. Better yet? Since this moment, right now, is all that really exists — the past being behind us and the future not yet real — it’s never too late, and one is never "too old," to become mindful of the moment or to enrich the quality of our days and our relationships.

Golden Rule No. 2: Know the Importance of Skillful Listening

One of the most wonderful concepts used in conflict-resolution programs is deep listening — literally, learning to listen deeply to others with less interference from your ego. That means you train yourself, through practice, to set aside those "But, but, but" and "That’s not right" inclinations so you can understand another’s point of view.

The sad reality is that most people don’t listen, but rather anxiously await the next opportunity to speak. Most conversations are actually monologues punctuated by periods of waiting to talk. But when someone really listens? Wow. To be listened to makes us feel valuable, and conscious-enterprisers enjoy making others feel deeply heard and truly valued. That’s why deep listening practices provide an excellent opportunity for qualitative growth, right relationship, and increased joy and meaning.

Golden Rule No. 3: Be Aware of Assumptions, Judgments and Filters

What do assumptions, judgments and filters have to do with fostering right relationship? Almost everything, since they inform how we view and react or respond to people and situations around us. Is it possible to practice extraordinary respect and thoughtfulness from a place of absolute certainty, where we don’t even entertain the notion that there exists a perspective other than our own?

We look around us, process that information through filters we’ve gained during the course of our upbringing, make assumptions about whether something is right or wrong, and issue a judgment that sets the stage for subsequent action. The less we’re aware of when and how we do this, the more likely our chance for miscommunication and less-than-optimal interactions with others.

The smaller the group, the more possible it is to foster a shared commitment to interpersonal skillfulness that has a positive effect on the business and all of the people in its Circle. This means that a group of one or several people can be highly skillful

Golden Rule No. 4: Ensure Common Understanding and Expectations

Many interpersonal low points occur when we assume understanding yet have no clear idea what we expect, much less know that others understand what we’re looking for. The result? Friction and discord when day-to-day circumstances shine light on mismatched desires and expectations.

Achieving a deeper level of understanding and asking good questions to reveal matched and mismatched expectations relies on self-awareness and skillful listening, but carries the possible rewards of richer relationship and freed potential.

A more nuanced and accurate understanding starts with our purposeful adoption of one assumption: that two people in conversation, or others in a larger group, come to the table with their own particular beliefs, expectations, assumptions and definitions. The two things we might safely assume are that we can’t assume anything, and our way of thinking isn’t necessarily shared by others.

Golden Rule No. 5: Be Watchful of Over-Familiarity

The wonderful thing about developing relationships with others is that we get comfortable interacting with one another, and gain a deeper understanding of how others approach things, which allows us to work together more productively and be of greater service.

Yet increased familiarity also breeds the possibility for complacency, and even sloppy service or a lack of professionalism or respect, whether within the office or between your group and your customers, vendors or partners.

If the goal of treating others with extraordinary respect and thoughtfulness informs our daily interactions, regardless of whether relationships are new or well-established, is it possible to slip into complacency that others might easily perceive as unprofessional or disrespectful? This becomes less likely if, in having extraordinary respect as the goal of our interaction, we’re already more mindful of our own behavior in relation to others. Only when we lose sight of our ideal for our interactions — or if we have no ideal, which is too often the case if our predominant interest is meeting profit quotas — are we likely to slip into behavior that distinguishes us in a negative way, if at all

Golden Rule No. 6: Foster and Model Generosity of Spirit

Many big-vision conscious-enterprisers and individuals believe that there are some things you just can’t teach a person who isn’t open to learning. These are often tempered and shaped in the heat generated by the events of our lives, not taught in a classroom or office building. One such characteristic is having a desire to be of service to others, fostered by a generosity of spirit that can’t be contained and seeks outlet at every opportunity — not just during the hour or two of a weekly religious service or the day before a client meeting or performance review.

Such generosity of spirit, a priority of being of service to others, is like the finest gold in any organization, particularly in a small organization that is truly values- and vision-driven. And while our culture promotes and celebrates self-service, there are still many people who choose to develop their capacity for generosity to others, including those who choose to do so through their small business. Thus another characteristic that distinguishes the big-vision conscious-enterpriser or individual from the more mediocre.

Golden Rule No. 7: Be Calm and Centered

It doesn’t matter whether you call it religion, spirituality, mindset management, philosophy, faith practices, psychology, mind-body wellness or nothing at all. Many such philosophies provide guidance on how to cultivate ways of being and areas of practice geared to quieting the "anxious mind" and treating people right.

Also, if you don’t have a set of practices that help you decrease your stress level, reduce your flash points, soften your judgments and expand your perspective, you are not going to be — or do — as well.

If you are preoccupied, you cannot listen well and are more likely to be forgetful. If you are angry, you are much less likely to be thinking clearly and speaking respectfully. If you are caught up in fearful thinking, you are more likely to be dwelling on something that hasn’t yet happened and less likely to be practicing extraordinary thoughtfulness.

Practices such as centering prayer, meditation, exercise and visualization, for example, help quiet the mind and deepen our faith, thus strengthening the foundation upon which right relationships — and a successful, rewarding livelihood — can be built.

Putting the Golden Rules into practice

As with all interpersonal skillfulness and mindset mastery development, putting the Golden Rules into practice requires, well, practice! For many conscious enterprisers, the intention for and journey towards greater skillfulness is both a means for spiritual practice and mastery development, and an end unto itself.

Regardless of whether or not you work in an organization that cultivates, encourages, and rewards such skillfulness, taking it upon yourself to become more skillful has myriad rewards, not the least of which is greater meaningfulness and more enjoyable relationships.

And if you are self-employed as a conscious-enterpriser, your Golden Rule practice offers the same benefits, and extends outward as a key part of your organizational identity and what distinguishes you from others. So many benefits in return for your effort!

This article is an adapted excerpt from Big Vision, Small Business: Four Keys to Success (Berrett-Koehler Publishers). Read more excerpts, or buy the highly acclaimed book.